Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
You pole danced in your parka.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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