matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize