Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Randomize
