Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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