I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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