god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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