Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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