i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Randomize
