Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize