i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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