What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
