i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
