what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Randomize
