i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize