I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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