So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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