i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
