Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize