I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I can't turn off my feet"
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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