Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Randomize
