YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
