At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
