I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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