Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Michael Bay diarrhea
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize