i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
