i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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