i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
