i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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