question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
