How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
