You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
