Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
