do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
