dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
