What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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