My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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