she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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