Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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