My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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