but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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