farters have to be the big spoon...
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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