Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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