Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Success! We fucked roommates!
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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