I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
This is not my ceiling
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Randomize
