You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
