I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
