So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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