Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
