NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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