i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Randomize
