Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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