So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I'm at about main and main street
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
