very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize