Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
