I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
