and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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