u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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