This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
