If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
