I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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