Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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