I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize