Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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