there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
