Non-Jews are for practice
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
You are the jesus of drinking
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Randomize
