i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize