What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Randomize
